Deep waters are not for everyone!

Here’s a good eye opening exercise for us to submit ourselves during Quarentäne: 

some people have actually been practicing social distance from us, way longer than the obligatory COVID-19 security measures took place. 

Symptoms of social distant relationships can be for example: 

• When People watch your stories but don’t engage to them even when you are sharing important or relevant topics. 
• When There’s no demonstration of interest, neither any effort to keep up a solid conversation with you. 
• When People who used to say that they were very busy to talk or meet you before quarentäne, still don’t talk to you now, even having way more available time at the moment. 
• When Your achieved personal or professional goals shared on social media are not being celebrated by likes or supportive comments on purpose. Nevertheless these people are active social media users and keep highly engaged to other people content than yours. Celebrities, bloggers and companies for example. 
• People who haven’t talk to you in ages starts sending “-hey buddy what’s up?” Messages and you notice you two don’t know anything about each other anymore. Or share anything in common. 
• People only message you when they have nothing else to do on their daily routine. 
• Your phone calls are not picked up, or returned. 
• Your messages gets read and lost. They are extremely late replied or not replied at all. 
• The response you get on your messages doesn’t get the same attention or commitment as you have devoted into writing it. 
• People only contact you if they need something from you. 
• People are using the quarentäne as an excuse to double level their mind games with you and test your patience. 
• People only talk about themselves and their problems when talking to you. When you start talking about you, they find a way to turn the conversation in something about them or do not have the patience to hear you. 
• People are making plans for “when quarentäne is over” that does not include you. 
• When you ask for important information or help (that doesn’t compromise their safety), it never comes or comes when you don’t need it anymore. 
• People show not empathy to the problems you are facing at the moment and minimize your pain by saying things like: “you are strong” “this will soon be over” or “keep up” instead to only quietly hear you. 

But, of course there are people who have always been there for us! And If so, during quarentäne they’ll probably be most likely to have the behavior bellow: 

• They will keep checking up on you often. 
• They will make efforts to keep in touch with you (FaceTime, chats, videocall, group conversation).
• They will plan in advance Things for you two to do together after quarantine is over. 
• They are always finding creative ways to make you feel present in their lives and vice versa, even during social distancing. 
• They messaged you often before and they are messaging you more than ever now. 
• They are making it clear how much they miss you and the physical contact with you. 
• They are calling you.
• They are engaging to your social media channels more than they did before. And being responsive. 
• They are adding you to special quarantine chat groups. 
• They are Saving your day with funny memes 🤪
• They are updating you with relevant news they found out about the current situation, that they believe can be interesting for you as a total of a an affected society. 

Of course exceptions apply! And I know everyone reacts different to isolation. 

Just that In my point of view this is a great time for us to put the unclear behavior of some people in our lives to the test. 

If in one hand, we wouldn’t have enough information to process our judgments, because we wanted to be as fair as possible to some people and not to end relationships without being sure that this would allow us a more light way of living. In the other hand, we now have more information than ever due to everything that is happening in the world. 

Because In moments of crisis like that is when the human character from everyone is shown in their most complete aspects. The carers will care more than ever. The superficial ones will be more superficial than ever. The selfish ones will live only for themselves and the selfless one will find a way to be more present than anything in the life of the people who really matters for him. 

So, all of that are precious observations which can really help us to define who sticks with us. And who we should really let go of once for all. Without insisting anymore. 

That’s a deep exercise and we must do it Without forgetting that “WE OURSELVES” might also be practicing social distancing from some people for a while on purpose or without noticing it. So, before to judge anyone else, we must judge our own behavior. That’s what I’m doing today. 

I believe now is time to reflect! To Think about, and strength the relationships we want to grow with people. And make them eternal. Or, is time to apologize for being superficial, to say sorry and let people who we don’t have any interesting to stick  to, to go on without us. 

I’m making a bunch of hard decisions, opening the door for some people to walk into my life and closing the same door to some other people. People that I really like very much to be honest. That I don’t imagine my life without, and that makes me sad to see going away. But, as I’ve learned in theraphy: it will always hurt! So, it is better to feel the pain for the right reason. Because after that, the pain will open space for something else. 

I have drastically accepted has a long time ago now, that I was not build for shallow waters. I wasn’t build to be on the shores. My home, are deep waters. And I know not everyone will be willing to swim there. And that’s fine. Some of them will see me swimming into open waters from the shores, with 2 feet on the comfortable sand, where is safe for them. And you know what? That’s fine! 

Who would’ve known we would need the entire world to stop, for us to find out these things huh? Holy shit!